LindaSophieX

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A secret of BDSM, what is the "switch" in bed and how to be one?

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When we talk about dominant and submissive, we are talking about labels, which are common in BDSM, but what about switches?

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When we talk about the terms of dominant and submissive, BDSM comes straight to mind as they are part of the tags within this type of sexual activities, there are couples that are each in their role, but at certain times there are some who like to dominate in bed as they feel dominated.

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I'm a Switch woman

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¿What is a switch?

A switch is someone who likes to be dominant and submissive in bed, depending on how he feels at that moment. Being like that doesn't necessarily mean you like to be dominant as often as you like to be submissive. You can spend most of your sex life without being any of those things.

The terminology serves to give us a language in which we can identify and name our experience and communicate to our partner. BDSM is commonly relegated to BDSM; however, most of all have a level of comfort of domination and submission.

What a switch means, is that sometimes your desires around control in bed change.

“Remember that these impulses are natural and a healthy expression of your sexuality”.

Yes but no, it's just normal

We often hear about the change in the context of perverted sex, but it is not necessary to break stereotypes as says Shakti.

There are many ways to try this type of BDSM position. You can start trying to talk dirty. Tell your partner explicitly what you want to do with him or you. It's just about knowing what's right for you and your partner..

You may want to experiment with harder BDSM while exploring your feelings. If your partner is a casual sex partner, do so. But on the contrary, let him know as each person's sexual desires are unique and as he continues to discover his own, trying new things is a great way to find out what he likes and what he doesn't like.

¿New to this?

If so, it may be better to take small steps to incorporate the change into your sex life. She incorporates whips and chains into her change repertoire, starts with new dirty words in her sex. When it comes to that, being a change is just one component of your sexuality. Continue to explore and enjoy everything as long as it is consensual.

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Fetichismo: ¿What is it and what are the most common?

In popular language we usually use the word fetish or fetishism to say that something we like a lot or that obsesses us, especially when that something, whether an object, a gesture or a physical feature, has a sexual component. That is, when something that is out of the ordinary or the norm excites us sexually. Fetishisms or, also called paraphilias, are part of the sexuality of erotic practices of many people. Unfortunately, many times, specifically some types of fetishism, instead of seeing them as part of human sexual diversity, society pathologizes or demonizes them..

But is fetishism something pathological? what different types of fetishism exist? are there better and worse? are some of them illegal? Which ones? do they all need psychological treatment? In this profile we will try to define from the field of psychology and sexology answer all these questions, define what is a fetish and which are the most common.

¿What is fetishism?

We can define fetishism as the sexual arousal that causes some object (eg. : clothing such as stockings), some erotic practice (eg. : kissing), sexual roles (e.g. : submission) or a part of the body (e.g. : feet). is defined as the abnormal sexual attraction to some object or part of the body and that have nothing to do with reproduction. As is usual in terms of sexuality, the father of psychoanalysis pathologised it, even years ago paraphilias were severely punished, because they were considered something perverse. However, fetishism does not have to be something pathological and, moreover, it is not the same attraction as arousal.

On the other hand, we can talk about two types of fetishism. First of all, we can talk about those fetishes that are more limiting in the sense that the person can only be aroused if the fetish itself is present in the erotic encounter.. If this is not the case, the person will not be able to enjoy their sexual intercourse. However, this is not common and the fetish that the person has will be a part of sex and that he likes to add to his sexual practices. At first, fetishism or paraphilia we will not consider something insane or pathological, as long as it is something that does not limit the person or condition it when it comes to fully enjoy their sexuality

We must not lose sight of the fact that it is a matter of taste and that people are very diverse. Even if those tastes, whatever they are, are not the usual ones, it does not mean that the person has a problem. Except for exceptions that may incur or are crime and that we will mention later, most fetishes are not harmful to physical or mental health, on the contrary, they are part of the diversity that exists within the sexuality of human beings.

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The 8 most common types of fetishism.

Quuiero

I want to point out that over time they have come to be classified as more than five hundred paraphilias and that they can be exercised in a healthy way and live sexual relations and sexuality in full, as long as they know the limits and how to enjoy them both alone and in company. Here are the most common types of fetishism:

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1. Voyeurism is the feeling of sexual arousal from seeing or observing a naked person or people having sex in a private context. Watch out! With this type of fetishism you can commit a crime if there is no consent on the part of the person or people who are being observed. It would not be considered fetishism to have enjoyed seeing a naked person without having planned it beforehand.

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2. Masochism Feeling pleasure in being humiliated, insulted, or feeling physical pain. In addition, this fetishism will always have an erotic component. Although it is more common in women, there are also men who enjoy being tied, beaten or submitted. This also has to do with the erotic pleasure you get from taking on a role in the submission bed.

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• 3. This type of fetishism refers to sexual arousal with some part of the body other than the genitals. The most common are the feet, but it can also be the hands, armpits or navel. Pleasure can be obtained by observing, caressing, licking, etc. the body part object of desire in question

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• 4. Transvestite fetishism. It consists of the sexual arousal that occurs when the sexual partner wears clothes typically categorized as of the opposite gender. It differs from crossdressing in that, in the case of fetish, the person enjoys when his partner wears such clothes. In the case of crossdressing, it is the person who enjoys dressing up..

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• 5. Knismolagnia Also known by its English word tickling, consists of experiencing pleasure in any erotic practice in which you receive or tickle. It is considered fetishism if tickling is given to achieve sexual pleasure or orgasm.

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• 6. Asphyxiation Although it can be dangerous, if performed correctly and with the appropriate safety measures, this type of fetishism can generate a lot of pleasure to whoever has it. It consists of restricting, through ropes or with your own hands, the breathing intentionally. As always, if it is practiced in company, it is absolutely necessary that the practice has been previously agreed and consented to.

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• 7. Urophilia is when you touch someone's urine or watch someone pee and feel sexual arousal from it. The object that excites is urine and the practice can be, being peeled or watching someone pee.

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• 8. In this case, the object of desire is the high heels. Most common in straight men who get excited by watching or having sex with a woman wearing heels, however, of course it can occur in other sexual orientations as in homosexual men who enjoy watching other men in heels. Also, it may be that the arousal occurs before the heels themselves.

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Conclusions

As I have already pointed out, most paraphilias are not considered harmful or harmful. However, there are some that are and are illegal. Such paraphilias (if they are carried out) should be reported.

For a fetishism not to be considered pathological or problematic, at least the following requirements must be met: it must not be obsessive, it must be exercised voluntarily so that there is consent and consensus by all the parties involved and it must not cause partial or permanent harm..

The greatest difficulty that a person with a type of fetishism usually encounters is communicating it to their partner or sexual partners. Paraphilias are something that is not normalized in today’s society and when it is talked about it tends to generate laughter, mockery or rejection. If you think you have some kind of fetish the best thing you can do is accept it yourself and, from there it will be much easier to communicate it to your potential partners.

¿What is BDSM and how is it practiced?

BDSM is a sexual practice that can stoke passion in a couple and bring several benefits. We dispel some myths and tell you what it really consists of.

In recent years, there have been several novels and films that have brought a sexual practice up until then little known and stigmatized: BDSM. You probably already have an idea of what it is, and you may even have already practiced it without being aware of it..

¿Have you ever used handcuffs, bandages or face shields in your sexual encounters? Have you played role-playing games based on the hierarchy of power as a teacher/student or boss/employee? So, you have already entered the world of BDSM.

It is a fun way to fuel passion in the bedroom, since the options are very diverse. In this opportunity, we tell you more about it and give you some tips for its practice.

¿What is BDSM?

BDSM is the acronym for bondage/discipline domination/submission and sadism/masochism. Simply defined, it is a set of sexual practices that are based on a dynamic of domination and submission. Thus, each of the couple members adopts one of these roles, although it is possible to exchange them.

The fundamental aspect is that it is a healthy, safe and consensual encounter. Both parties have to agree on the limits and, in this way, the well-being of the involved is guaranteed at all times.

The term BDSM was coined in 1969, however, these practices were already present in very ancient civilizations and in very diverse cultures, so it is not something new.

From that moment on, and under these acronyms, a series of acts are encompassed that can vary in intensity and that do not always have to occur at the same time. That is, each person and each couple can make a different reading and use of the term.

To better understand what it is, we break down the meaning of each of the words from which this acronym is formed.

The bondage

Usually, the term bondage is used to refer to the bindings with ropes, cords or other elements, very present in BDSM. However, in the past, it used to refer to the bonds of subordination that were established between masters and slaves, between feudal lords and vassals..

In this sense, in addition to naming the immobilization for erotic purposes, it also implies a relationship in which power is asymmetrical.

discipline

Discipline includes the rules, habits, and protocols of behavior that people in the subordinate position must follow. It therefore refers to a training with rules and punishments through which the dominant individual exercises power over his counterpart..

Domination

It refers to the role one partner takes in exercising control over the other. Thus, this person is the one who orders and disposes at will, showing dominion over the submissive partner.

submission

It is the complementary role to domination. In this case, the individual adopts a position of subjugation that places him under the will of the dominant. The submissive person obeys and allows the partner’s actions, always in a voluntary and consensual way.

Sadism

It refers to erotic practices in which one person gains pleasure by inflicting pain or humiliation on the other. Again, any practice that falls within this category must be safe and consensual, as this term has nothing to do with criminal sadism..

masochism

In a complementary way to sadism, in masochism the individual gets pleasure from suffering physical or psychological pain caused by the sexual partner. However, the latter always has the power to set limits that must be respected at all times..

Games during BDSM

• Juego de edad: is to simulate an age different from what you have, to be younger or older.
• Breathing play: it is based on breathing control during sexual act, such as holding your breath or choking
• Gender games: in these games you pretend to be of a different gender than you own.
• Juego de impacto: is the most common and consists of hitting the body with some kind of instrument, for example, with the hand, a whip or a cane.
• Juego de roles: consists of pretending to be a different identity during sex, for example, pretending to be a nurse, a policeman, etc..

BDSM can be performed collectively at a game party. These encounters are social gatherings where people participate in BDSM activities.

¿What are the benefits?

Because of ignorance, BDSM has been stigmatized and associated with concepts such as abuse or perversion; however, it is a healthy practice that can bring various benefits. According to a study, people who practice it tend to be less neurotic, more extroverted, more open to new experiences, more conscious, less sensitive to rejection, had a higher subjective well-being, and were more likely to be successful in life..

1. It promotes communication between the members of the couple. Each act must be voluntary and agreed upon; therefore, the partners must dialogue in an assertive way to express their preferences and limits, and reach agreements.
2. Increases self-knowledge and the other. The greater communication that is established allows to discover with greater depth what are the tastes and desires of oneself and the other, what excites each and which practices are refused. At the same time, mutual knowledge is increasing. Moreover, since the dominant person must guarantee the well-being of the other at all times and respect his wishes, this favors the establishment of trust between both..
3. It awakens the imagination. As an unconventional sexual practice, BDSM opens the way to experimentation, fantasy and innovation. The practices, roles and elements can be varied to make each meeting a unique experience
4. It can help to spark passion in the couple. Although not everyone will be attracted to this type of dynamic, for some couples it can be a refreshing and stimulating element that allows you to escape from routine and monotony.
5. Reduce stress. One research notes, among its multiple results, that BDSM is related to reductions in psychological stress and negative affection, and increases in sexual arousal
6. Increase intimacy. Participating in sadomasochistic acts increases the sense of connection and intimacy with the partner, according to a publication. 3 While the exact reasons for this are not entirely clear, research has shown that doing new things with romantic partners, rather than the same routine activities, increases intimacy.

¿Does it present risks?

We must not lose sight of the fact that BDSM can pose risks to physical and psychological health if not practiced properly. Skin injuries, bruises, muscle damage or even suffocation are some of the main dangers; in addition, it can generate emotional sequelae if there is no true consensus and absolute respect.

BDSM can have a fatal outcome such as death if not performed carefully. However, this ending is very rare and uncommon, according to research published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, which conducted an overview of non-natural death cases related to sexual activities over 25 years..

To avoid any risk, it is necessary to inform yourself, act with caution, sensibly and safely. Also talk, ask and clarify with the sexual partner where their limits are.

¿How to practice BDSM?

As you might have guessed, there is no single way to practice BDSM, as it includes a set of very diverse practices, although with a common root. For example, physical domination, role-playing, pet play, needle play, or erotic suffocation.

Some couples simply use bondage or inflict pain in very mild degrees to increase arousal. Others, on the other hand, establish a real dynamic of domination/submission by interpreting their respective roles inside and outside the bedroom..

There are those who resort to physical pain and those who simply focus on the psychological aspect of humiliation. And, likewise, some practice it very often and others sometimes. In any case, it is the couple who decides how far to take the game.

Conditions for practicing BDSM

BDSM should be taken with great caution, care and premeditation. In addition, there are certain fundamental parameters that must be respected when practicing it. In this sense, a study that sought to understand the sexual practices related to BDSM found that for those who practice it are necessary the following conditions.

mental health

Both people must be in good health, both physically and mentally. This means that each member must have emotional stability, not be upset, depressed, anxious, etc. Being healthy at a mental level is paramount, as it will be the basis for establishing and respecting boundaries.

It is also considered relevant that those who like submission or masochism have a good self-esteem, since when submitting to humiliations they can end up affected if it is not very high. Also, it is necessary not to practice BDSM under the effects of any drug that alters the consciousness..

Successive Approximations

Another condition is to do it progressively and gradually. A prior space of dialogue between the master and the submissive must be enabled, where both know each other’s preferences and limits before carrying out a BDSM session..

Successive approaches involve not reaching immediately or directly to the expected final behavior. Going slow is key in this practice to undermine the risks that you may have if you do not practice with responsibility and care.

Consent and Limits

Another of the principles of BDSM is consent. There must be an agreement between the parties about what they will do and how. Ideally, the agreement can be discussed before starting in a trusting space where you can talk without pressure or discomfort. Consent entails the establishment of the limits.

These include the maximum point of pain that the person tolerates and the tastes and preferences of each. Respecting boundaries and agreements is necessary for all BDSM practice. You can't force the other to do something they don't want.

Limits can be set before or during sexual intercourse. Because of this, practitioners should have an open channel of communication during the session and a safe word that serves as a warning to stop in case one of the parties so wishes..

Tips to get started in BDSM

To explore the world of BDSM keep in mind the following recommendations that will help you to begin a practice that you had never tried:

1. Prueba cosas nuevas: BDSM is an unusual, different and creative sexual encounter that invites you to do things you probably never did before. If you are thinking about trying it, open your mind to the multiple possibilities and don’t be afraid to try new things. But don't forget you must enforce your limits.
2. Trust your partner: to start you must have a partner in whom you trust a lot, that you know that if you say “no”, he will respect your decision. This is key for your safety and comfort during BDSM.
3. Give room to your imagination: Imagination is essential for an unforgettable experience. Don't be afraid to try new things and fulfill your fantasies within the boundaries you and your partner have set. Let yourself be carried away by creativity and eroticism, and you will see how all this helps you to start in this world.
4. Make a small financial investment: If you want to practice BDSM, you must have good equipment to practice it. You can include binding tools, sex toys, whips, clothes, masks, etc. Visiting a sexshop can help you a lot, in them you will find kits for BDSM that can help you start.

Final considerations

All BDSM activity should be healthy, safe and consensual. It is necessary that each person feels comfortable with what they do and not be coerced to do something they do not want. The freedom that each has at all times is invaluable, as are communication and limits. Respect, care and responsibility for the well-being of the other person are essential conditions and should not be relegated under any circumstances. If you are thinking about starting this practice, keep in mind the information I have given you